Five years ago, I began researching and listing local resources and services for families of children with autism. I wanted to help provide some form of comfort to others who felt the same type of isolation that we felt. This was my way of coming to grips with what I was experiencing as a dad. Since that time, I have met several other fathers who are experiencing many of the same problems, questions and uncertainties that I am; and so, this blog has evolved.
Are there resources, services and valuable information available on this sight? Yes, the sharing of information, parent to parent, provider to provider is critical to the progress of our children and our educational system. However, there are other important purposes for this blog.
For the professionals, I have met many dedicated doctors, educators, therapist and clinicians since Danielle's diagnosis. I soon realized that no matter how caring, no matter how experienced, no matter how educated a clinician or professional might be, they often have no practical knowledge of what it is like to live with a child who has a disability 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The reality of living with a child with a disability is something that cannot be imagined or learned; it must be experienced to be truly understood. Consequently, the expectations of a parent who interacts with a child on a daily basis is seldom shared by the professional who see a child 4 to 6 hours per week. The pressure and stress exerted on relationships can been overwhelming, clinicians and professionals understand this. As parents, our direct experience with the myriad issues surrounding our daily challenges provides a unique perspective. I hope I am able to communicate these things to some degree through my journal entries, notes and stories.
For my family, much of what I learned about my dad came from third parties. During the past twenty-five years, my father and me rarely spoke. When we did speak the conversation was often brief and uncomfortable. When he passed away, there was so much I didn't know and so many questions I wanted to ask. The answers I received satisfied some basic curiosity but much of this is speculation. After all, how can in-laws and siblings tell what was really in a person's heart or on their mind?
This blog chronicles my life during a most challenging and confusing period. A period when I've made some very drastic and life-changing decisions for our family. I don't want my girls to rely upon the opinions and speculation of others when it comes to who I am and what motivated me to do the things I've done.
Why do this in such a public forum? I know there are many fathers that struggle as I do. I know the concerns that I have are shared by other loving fathers. I hope that sharing my story helps others by letting them know that there are common threads that we all share. This is the human condition. While we may not share a common background we all have aspirations and dreams for our little ones. This blog is for my family and all the other families like mine that are making their way in the world.
